A proper farwell

N ot a "stay with me" kind of posts.. rather a decade worth of deep and sincere gratitude...

This indeed was one of the most challenging years I have been through, only a little victory of surviving was gained.

A grave loss has been experienced, not only the loss of a pure company that will be forever remembered, but also a loss of the last thread of sense of purpose.
Stumbling in the darkness of my own thoughts, wrestling my own vicious demons, was how most of that year's nights was spent.
An irrational wave of a variety of emotions: rage, sadness, helplessness have been tirelessly slamming every grain of sand on my sanity's shores.
A sky of desperation was painted over my world and you might figure out yourself what kind of birds did fly these skies freely...

Yet a good count of delightful events cannot be overlooked in this year. Graduation was a big one, double edged, yes, but still a blessing.

And so as I look back and reflect on those foggy, wobbly days, I only manage to lay a sight on my only beam of light, my figure of shelter and safety. To whom I dedicate whatever words poured out of my heart in the following...

To my Golden circle through this last 10 years:

The ones I find my soul rushing towards whenever this world gets so cold that I can't bear on my own any longer.
The ones who saved me from my dullness and introduced me to a whole techni colors world of mini adventures and vivid, warm memories.
The ones who helped me check some of my most important wishes off of my list. And still do.
The ones who saw every tiny bit of every single phase of myself. And loved them all equally. Actually they helped some of them to develope into being.

The ones who sees the best in me, the most spectacular potential, a ravishing future ahead, while I simply sit in a corner and dramatically whine like a baby, still pointing out only the darkest in myself.
Yet the strong belief they had in me, showing in their tones, in their choice of words, in their gestures... stops me dead every time.

How are they seeing me this beautiful?
How can't they see the ugly truth?
Strikingly, they do!
They acknowledge my human part of sinning and flawing.
They see the whole package even without knowing in details about all the horrible mistakes.
They even sit still while listening carefully to an agonizing 10 minutes voice note about me being totally clueless and completely unsure!

And. They. Still. Choose. To. See. Me. Thrive.

To you, my loved ones, my home away from home, my persons, my jasmines, my sisters and my one and only joy of heart, my shield of a brother..
Thank you for ever believing in me
Thank you for your unconditional love and support
Thank you for allowing my little awkward ass to be any thing closer than a "friend" to you.
I love you.. would be a great understatement to the overwhelming state of feeling I experience towards you, guys.

Let 2020 strike as strong as it may, for I have this one warm, shelter to get me through whatever yet to come.